Poker 101

It's important to remember that above all else you should, without a doubt, be true to yourself.

This obviously doesn't apply to just lesbians but to everyone in general. Every lesbian at one point in their life has bent on what they believe, who they believe they are, what they know they really want and who they want to become. The majority of this I believe happens because of another woman who subsequently doesn't (can't or won't) bend on anything. I'll even throw myself under the pervervial bus here. In the past I have always done this. A new relationship is budding beautifully (or so I think) and I feel like I should bend or give in to what she wants, how she wants it, and how she wants it to be... a few months pass us by and I find myself sitting there, having a heart-to-heart with myself about why I've done this to myself again and why I am no longer happy with the relationship. The key here is, a relationship takes two people to make it work. There should be balance and no one should have had to adjust who they are and what they want for someone else.

To know yourself and love who you are is a wonderful thing. Future relationships (or even a current one) will benefit from this. However, it's been my experience in the past that when you first start seeing someone, it's almost like a game of poker. You and your date have ante'd up, the first round of bets has been made and the dealer lays down the flop. So far it's going okay, you really feel a connection with the other person, the conversation is stimulating, she's laughing, you're laughing, but do you show her all of your cards? No and she's not showing you all of her's either. I say why not? Why not go all-in and show them everything? (figuratively speaking of course, unless you're that type then I mean literally). No one wants to find out a couple of months into the relationship that the other person is obsessed with their dog and treats him/her like a person, and if it came down to it, she would probably pick the dog over you.

Isn't the point of dating to find someone to be with the rest of your life? That sounds so cliche but it isn't the truth? I mean, what are we doing if not finding a companion to be by our side through everything. Of course, everyone has those friends that will be there till the end but it's not the same. You show your friends your cards through a parade of drunken, tell-all-your-dirty-secrets nights. They love you anyway and hold most of it against you as blackmail. My friends know more about me than I am willing to admit to... but the point is they still love me, flaws and all, and vice versa.

So since I'm driving the pervervial bus today, here is my first date poker hand:

      'Ace of Hearts' - Dreams. I have them, I am pursuing them, I will not allow anyone to deter me from my 
                              goals. This isn't to say that I wouldn't make time for you, but I have priorities.
     'King of Hearts' - Family. They come as is. There's no changing them, I won't be attempting it, ever, and
                              neither should you. 
   'Queen of Hearts' - Mother. If she doesn't like you, you won't survive in my family.
     'Jack of Hearts' - Friends. I have insanely entertaining friends. Only 1 of them has an opinion that
                              matters. If she doesn't like you it's more than likely because she doesn't believe you are
                              worthy of my attention. (No pressure.)
     'Ten of Hearts' - I am full of witty remarks, sarcastic comments, dry humor, trivial information and brains.
                              If you can't handle banter with me, you won't make it.

That Royal Flush may seem like a lot to divulge on a first date, but they are the most important (to me anyway) and should be known to anyone that takes a bet on me and ante's up. I have reached that point in my life where I know what I want. I don't know how I'm going to get it but I do know that it's possible.

Second date poker hand:

        '9 of Diamonds' - Baseball. If you can't sit through 9 innings at the ballpark, fold now.
        '9 of Clovers' - Family. Unless we're married, I will more than likely choose them over you.
        '7 of Spades' - Flirty. I'm a huge flirt... if you're insecure. Fold.
        '7 of Hearts' - Loyalty. You will always know where I stand.
        '7 of Clovers' - Quirks. I have them, they aren't annoying, they're endearing.


The beauty of it all is everyone's hand is going to differ. That's the best thing about this, it all comes down to balance in a relationship and balance cannot be achieved if anyone in the relationship has bent on what they feel strongly about. The one thing you must remember: Patience is a virtue. If you don't have any, find some. Eventually, that perfect person is going to stroll into your life, sit down at your table, and show you their hand.